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Communicating about children in Kentucky Child Custody cases

This week and last week I had an opportunity to think about how clients communicate with one another when they are going through a divorce.  Your divorce severs your financial relationship, but it does not sever your relationship as parents of your children.  Therefore, it is important to communicate with your former spouse (or soon-to-be former spouse) about your children.  The devil is, as they say, in the details.

First, let’s acknowledge that communicating with someone you’re divorcing can be difficult.  Sometimes, it can also call into question safety (if there is domestic violence or emotional abuse).  However, communicating about important issues surrounding your children is vital to them (school, health, extracurricular activities, etc.).  Devise a strategy, either with your former spouse or through your attorney, to communicate.  Keep the communication focused only on the issues important to your children.  Stay away from personalizing the issues.

Second, your children are not good communicators.  Barring some kind of emergency, never use the children to send messages to your former spouse.  They don’t need to hear it.  Often, they are, because of their age and emotions, unreliable messengers.

Third, take advantage of technology.  Your family may be moving into two different households, but you can bridge the gulf with technology.

Fourth, keep your eye on the prize.  Almost always, raising healthy children into productive adults is a shared goal.  You and your ex may not agree on how to get there or what it looks like, but sharing information is always in the best interest of your children.

Have a good weekend and have a Happy Easter to those who celebrate.  If your family is going through a change, please feel free to give me a call.  Also, please feel free to learn more at or or if you are not ready to talk.  Thanks for reading.


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